


Aftermath AU: The Past Keeps Dragging Me Back

by Cy_Fi_TheAnswerIs42



Category: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TV 2003), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - All Media Types
Genre: (Also it's only one limb lol), (why is that a tag???), Also don't worry the major character death is temporary I'm just taking precautions with the tags, Angst, Blood, Donitkitt's Aftermath AU, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Loss of Limbs, Major Character Injury, Nightmares, Past Torture, Temporary Character Death, aaaaaaaahhhhhhh I hope that's everything, oh boy here we go - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-20
Updated: 2019-03-20
Packaged: 2019-11-25 23:35:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,936
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18172916
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cy_Fi_TheAnswerIs42/pseuds/Cy_Fi_TheAnswerIs42
Summary: They may be safe now, but that doesn't mean they aren't still hurting.Written for donitkitt's Aftermath AU (they're on Tumblr and have an absolutely AMAZING AU with tons of angst and spectacular artwork to go with it, go check it out!!!) Also if you don't know what happens in their AU then you're not really going to know what's going on here, lol. You could probably figure it out, but I'd recommend checking out the AU first.





	Aftermath AU: The Past Keeps Dragging Me Back

**Author's Note:**

> If I missed any tags PLEASE let me know! This is rather dark (at least at the beginning) so make sure you're good with all the above tags before reading.

_It was quiet, the only sounds being the running water echoing off the tunnel walls and the group’s combined labored breathing, Mikey’s the worst by far with its hitching and shaking. Donnie’s was almost as bad for another reason, shallow and wet sounding, growing slower and weaker with every minute that passed, something that worried Raph to no end._

_“Mikey, which way? We don’t know how long Splinter can keep Bishop off our shells.” Leo asked, urgency apparent as he glanced around at the diverging tunnels._

_“I’m…I-I think…” Mikey stuttered, wide eyes darting around as he tried to figure out which path they needed to reach safety. “This…this way, yeah.”_

_They quickly moved down the tunnel to their left, Raphael doing his best to ignore the damp warmth from blood that wasn’t his own that steadily leaked down his carapace and how Donnie’s eyes were closing more by the second, his body slumping more against Raph’s, feeling heavier and heavier as their journey progressed._

_“Hold on Don, we’ll be there soon, yeah?”_

_“Hhhggn.” The sound barely escaped Donnie’s mouth, whatever he was trying to say lost in the haze caused by the blood loss and fever that had set in. It had been too long since Bishop cruelly hacked off Don’s arm, punishment for not cooperating and joining his side, with the pathetic excuse for wrapping being the only medical attention Donatello received afterwards. The covered stump had been radiating a sickening warmth that screamed infection for who knows how long, a problem that needed to be dealt with as quickly as possible._

_Raph had been watching Donnie since he set the dazed turtle against his shell and carried him out of the lab, eye out for any worrying signs. (Who’s he kidding, they’re all worrying and if he’s honest, he doesn’t know how much longer Donnie’s going to be able to hold on for.) As he glanced back at the younger turtle’s face, he watches as Donnie’s glazed eyes slide shut, and then his entire body went limp._

_“Don? Donatello stay **awake** , do you hear me?!” Raphael didn’t bother to even try and hide the fear in his voice, feeling ice-cold fear shoot through his veins._

_In his panic and focus on his younger brother, he didn’t see the raised edge of broken concrete that his foot caught on, sending them both sprawling. While Raph swore up a storm, Donnie didn’t make a noise, the only sound was the sickening crack of his shell as it connected with the concrete._

_He wasn’t moving._

_“Donnie?” Raph whispered, frozen for only a moment before scrambling over to the unmoving turtle. The flimsy bandages from Bishop’s shitty patch job were slightly unraveled, revealing the red and mutilated flesh hidden underneath, blood beginning to pool around the area where Donnie’s arm should have been connected to his shoulder. Raph kneeled, pressed a trembling finger (when did his hands start shaking?) to his little brother’s neck, checking for a pulse._

_He couldn’t find one._

_“Shit, shit shit shit, Donatello wake the **fuck UP**!” Raphael shouted, instantly starting CPR, his terror only increasing exponentially when he realizes that Donnie isn’t breathing either. He feels his own heart being to race and breathing become wheezy and shallow, his limbs going numb as a buzzing sets in and his vision tunnels. All he can see is Donnie’s slack face, eyes now open slightly and focused on nothing, unmoving._

_Still as the dead._

_He finished another set of chest compressions, checked for a pulse, for breath, just some sign of life, that his younger brother, his arrogant genius of a little brother is still here, still **alive**_ **.**

_There’s nothing._

-TMNT-

Raphael jerks up in bed, heart going a mile a minute and threatening to burst through his plastron. He tries taking a calming breath in, sadly no stranger to this panic now, gagging on the imagined smell of copper in the air.

_Not real, it’s **not**  real._

He breathes in through his mouth this time, hands gripping the bed sheets and focusing on the texture, trying to ground himself. It’s not the first time he’s had a nightmare since their escape, knows it definitely won’t be the last one, but that one…that was  _new_ , to say the least. That was the first one where Donnie…

Raph throws off the covers and stands, scrubbing at his face with exhaustion as he realizes he’s not getting anymore sleep tonight, at least not until he’s sure his younger brother is alright. He knows it was just a nightmare, that they got Donnie back before it was too late, and eventually the tech genius woke up and recovered, but that does nothing to alleviate the fear that took root during the dream.

So checking on Donatello it is.

He knows where to find him too, the same place he’s been holed up since he was able to stand up without wobbling, without causing any of his family alarm. Raphael stands in the entryway to the lab for a moment, just watching the hunched-over form of his immediate younger brother at work on that new arm of his.

Alive. He’s alive.

Not fine though, if the irritated grumbling is anything to go by. As he watches, Donnie moves his arm, the one actually attached to his body, to adjust something and as a result a component falls from the framework of a metal one.

“God-DAMMIT.” Donnie yells, slamming down the screwdriver that was previously in his hand.

“Need a hand?” Raph asks before he can stop himself, wincing at the unintentional and poorly-timed joke.

“Ha, ha.” Donatello deadpans as he turns around, not looking at Raphael and grabbing the fallen piece, examining it. “And that broke. Great, fan-fucking-tastic, just my luck.” He tosses the piece onto the desk, turning back towards Raph and this time actually focusing on him. “Can I help you?”

“Just wandering, thought I’d check on ya.” Raph shrugs, just now noticing how tensed up his shoulders were and forcing them to relax, walking into the lab and looking over Don’s shoulder at the project.

Currently, it was just the casing, a hollowed out metal appendage to be filled with circuitry and components so it would work just like a flesh-and-blood arm. Circuit boards and other metallic parts surrounded it, slowly being adapted for the project. Slowly was the problem though; before the capture, Donnie would crank out inventions one after the other, products of sleepless nights caused by a restless mind, but between losing his arm and the following recovery and adjustment, he was moving at a snail’s pace, something that frustrated him to no end. At this rate, it would be months before the arm would even be ready for testing, let alone use.

“Raph, I can see your hands trembling, are you alright?” Donnie questions, the usual laser-focus in his eyes now directed at the older turtle. Almost involuntarily, Raph clenches the traitorous appendages, stilling the subtle shaking.

“Yeah, I’m good.” He sighs, grabbing another chair and wheeling it over, taking a seat and staring at the project strewn on the table. “Ya need some help with this thing?”

Annoyance flares bright in Donatello’s eyes, the same as it always did when someone offered help since the incident, no matter if it ranged from something as small as grabbing a bowl to something as important as his projects. Instead of the usual quickly snapped “no  _thanks_ ” though, there was hesitation as he stared at his brother, taking in every tired detail. He could easily guess the reason why Raph was awake, the same reason why any of them where up and wandering at these hours now.

For a moment, it was just the two brothers staring at each other, silent and yet so much still being said. Donnie broke the silence first, sighing and grabbing the screwdriver again.

“You fuck anything up and I’m kicking you out, got it?” Donnie warns, pointing the previously discarded screwdriver threateningly.

“Got it.” Raphael grins, taking the tool. “Just point me in the right direction.”

He moves the chair closer, in part to get at a better angle to work on Donnie’s precious tech, and also to be closer to his younger brother, the impatient tapping from not being able to  _work_ , his annoyed huffs of breath between near constant instructions, just his presence, the fact he was  _alive_  chasing away the remaining nerves brought by the nightmare. Raphael carefully focuses on the delicate task, knowing that without a doubt Donnie will make good on his promise if he makes a mistake, and feels calm.

Raph knows Don, knows how absolutely fucking  _stubborn_  the guy is, how he’d rather take an eternity on a project that needs to be completed than even  _hint_ that he needs help. So the fact that he’s accepting Raph’s offer? On such an important project like this one no less? The genius has to be at the end of his rope. Raph knows not to voice this thought though, to just silently help. Sometimes, that’s what Donnie needed more than anything else.

Donatello partially watches the last of the tension leave his older brother’s body as he works, the rest of his focus on Raphael’s work, glad that  _finally_  some solid progress is being made (not that he’d ever admit how tough it’s been to try and work on something one-handed, that he’s been frustrated beyond belief and it’s so satisfying to see actual progress). He’s seen Raph, seen everyone in the lair in fact, wandering around in the middle of the night before, talked with all of them before. Raph never hovered in the lab though, instead always making casual conversation before shuffling off somewhere else. Considering what had happened, how Raphael had been the one to carry him out of Bishop’s workshop when he was so close to bleeding out, he could guess what the events of tonight’s nightmare were and why they were causing Raph to stay nearby.

He didn’t want to think about how that had nearly become a reality.

Taking that guess and seeing how it was affecting the older turtle made Donnie’s blood boil in white-hot rage for two reasons. One, Bishop, that utter  _bastard_  had caused this, and was still causing his family pain in ways that just seemed to keep coming (like Leo’s sight; he  _saw_  how Leo was squinting at things, knew how Bishop loved to torture the oldest turtle, knew that  _something_  was up even if Leo hadn’t said anything). Two, his own inability to remedy the current situation. It was no secret that Donnie wasn’t the best with emotions, that he shoved aside his own because it was easier that way, and that after everything that happened if you needed comfort and calm then you went to Raph. So when it came to helping said brother calm down after his own nightmare? He wasn’t sure how to proceed, and he absolutely  _hated_  not knowing how to do something, how to  _help_.

Donatello took a guess, a shot in the dark he could only hope would hit its mark. If he was right about the nightmare, then being close would help, a solid constant reminder that he  _was_  here, not gone. So he kept tapping away the energy that was usually spent building, kept the steady stream of “do this, no STOP, ok now just hold that there and that’ll work” going. Kept up the subtle reminders that everything was alright. Not good, good was something that was long gone, but alright.

Right now at least, everything was alright.


End file.
